100 sexxay things about Omnivore

September 16, 2008 at 9:10 pm 9 comments

Inspired by Wendy Blackheart at Heart Full of Black, I give you 100 things about me, the sex list (with some love and truth and beauty thrown in for good measure).

  1. I took my own virginity.
  2. No, really. With a small, pink, very ladylike bottle of roll-on deodorant. I broke my hymen, and that hurt a bit, and then I pushed the bottle in farther and it felt good. And then I stopped. Because I was afraid.
  3. This was after an aborted attempt to “give” my virginity to a boy in the back seat of a car.
  4. While he was pulling down my pants, I asked him if he had a condom. “No,” he said, rising up to kiss me, “but you don’t want a piece of plastic in you the first time, do you?”
  5. He couldn’t penetrate my little 13-year-old cunt.
  6. There was no foreplay, which probably didn’t help.
  7. We broke up soon afterward.
  8. I was 14 years old and a freshman in high school the first time I had sexual intercourse.
  9. I was 19 years old before I had sex without a condom.
  10. Twice I went to the same anonymous HIV-testing clinic with a man so we could fuck without a condom.
  11. I think it’s kind of romantic to go get STD screenings together.
  12. I paid attention during sex ed. Back then, they actually told you about the various forms of birth control and how to use them.
  13. According to the current abstinence-only curricula taught in public schools across the country, I am a piece of scotch tape that has been stuck to so many arms that it can no longer “bond” properly.
  14. I’d rather be a slut than a whore.
  15. I reclaimed the word “dyke” early on.
  16. I didn’t reclaim the word “slut” until I was over 30.
  17. I didn’t reclaim the word “bitch” until this year.
  18. I fell in love with a little red-haired girl when I was in the first grade.
  19. I fell in love with a little brown-haired boy when I was in the second grade.
  20. I told my fourth-grade teacher that I loved my best friend so much that if I could I would marry her. Her response shamed me deep into the closet for a decade.
  21. When I was a toddler, I remember discovering the interesting folds of my vagina while sitting in the living room watching TV. “That’s a private place to touch,” said my mother. “You should only touch that when you’re in the bath or in bed alone at night.”
  22. I didn’t have a real orgasm until I was in college.
  23. The boy who gave it to me was a black boy with a moustache. We were never really dating.
  24. He did it by going down on me with enthusiasm, and by doing it longer than anyone had done it before.
  25. The first time I ejaculated was with a small, hard plastic vibrator. I was about 19 years old.
  26. I had to throw away that futon less than a year later because it started to smell really funky.
  27. My boyfriend said “Are you sure it’s not pee?” the first time I came on his face.
  28. Later, I asked my girlfriend what it tasted like and she replied, “your hot, salty cum.”
  29. The first woman I fell in love with was a summer exchange student from a local community college.
  30. She gave me a tiny hickey, and when my mother asked me who had given it to me, I told her.
  31. My mother’s initial response was “Ew”.
  32. Later, my mother told me she loved me no matter who I was or who I was with. She bought me combat boots and a toolbox.
  33. It took me ten more years to realize I didn’t have to be butch to be a dyke.
  34. I didn’t come to terms with my bisexuality until five years after I came out of the closet.
  35. I used to call myself a traitor to my own kind.
  36. I am very, very good at eating pussy.
  37. I am very, very good at sucking cock.
  38. I can deep throat, but only if I’m really into the guy.
  39. Finger-fucking gives me carpal tunnel syndrome.
  40. I like 69ing, but I’d rather be on top.
  41. My favorite way to come is on my back, with intense stimulation on my clit.
  42. After I turned 30, I started having vaginal orgasms regularly and repeatedly.
  43. When I come during PIV sex, my cunt has been known to clench so hard it pushes my lover’s cock right out.
  44. I have been known to ejaculate from PIV sex.
  45. I have been known to ejaculate from a spanking.
  46. I think cybersex is cheating.
  47. I don’t think I’m really polyamorous, but I like to pretend when I’m single.
  48. I once spent seven years in a lesbian marriage (the old-school, illegal kind) that suffered from serious Lesbian Bed Death.
  49. I have cheated on more than one partner.
  50. The part of cheating I hate the most (in myself and in others) is the dishonesty.
  51. I like to have sex at least three times a week.
  52. I can go for extended periods of time without any kind of sexual contact, without missing it.
  53. Twice after long-term relationships I’ve used Craigslist to find and fuck a good assortment of lonely, horny men.
  54. Once I got an email from the girlfriend of a man I’d slept with once. It turned out that he had lied to me about being single. I apologized to her and confirmed that he and I had slept together.
  55. I have never had sex with a transgendered person.
  56. I find butch women very attractive, I’ve had sex with many “gay” men, but men in drag do nothing for me.
  57. I see transgendered people as my siblings in gender rebellion.
  58. I’ve fucked women with my “psychic cock” and made them come.
  59. I’ve come while fucking women with my psychic cock.
  60. All of my genderfuck is behavioral. On the outside, I’m very clearly a girl.
  61. I’ve taken people to task for using the word “queer” as a pejorative.
  62. I love the word “queer” because it includes all sorts of sexual and gender minorities.
  63. I have had lovers of many different races and nationalities.
  64. I lost count of the number of lovers I’ve been with sometime in my early 20s.
  65. I used to feel deeply ashamed for having so many sex partners.
  66. I have been deeply in love somewhere between four and six times in my life.
  67. I have never consistently enjoyed anal sex as much as I have with Bran.
  68. I didn’t come to terms with my BDSM tendencies until January 2008.
  69. The first time I heard about fisting was when Susie Bright came to speak at my college in the early 90s.
  70. Less than a month later, my tall, rangy boyfriend with the really large hands managed to fit all five fingers inside me.
  71. Cunnilingus is my favorite thing in the whole world.
  72. Sexual intercourse is my favorite thing in the whole world.
  73. Rubbing my face in a woman’s wet, juicy pussy is my favorite thing in the whole world.
  74. Group sex is my favorite thing in the whole world.
  75. The first time I made out with more than one boy was when I was 15 years old.
  76. My first threesome was with two men, as a freshman in college.
  77. FFM is my favorite threesome combination.
  78. Bran and I have fantasized about bringing a submissive woman to bed with us.
  79. I fall in love very easily.
  80. I’ve often confused lust for love.
  81. I’ve had sex in the back of a car on Highway One in Northern California, on the beach outside of Santa Cruz, in a hotel room with lots of other people having sex around me, on the kitchen floor, on a golf course, while driving, and probably lots of other places I can’t remember.
  82. I find double-penetration (one in the cock, one in the pussy) fascinating.
  83. I have never been fucked in the ass and the pussy at the same time by two actual men with actual penii.
  84. I have experienced double penetration twice with a man and a handy dildo, and each time it was AWESOME.
  85. Once, when I was walking by some neighbors, I heard them repeating something I’d shouted rather loudly the night before.
  86. The thing I’d shouted was, “Oh, baby, fuck me in the ASS!”
  87. The windows had been open.
  88. I was embarassed.
  89. I’ve let a butch woman get away with emotional and physical abuse I would never have tolerated from a man.
  90. I attended a support group at a local women’s shelter to get the moral support I needed to get out of that relationship.
  91. I thought I was different than all the other women in the room because I was gay and they were straight, but our stories ended up being exactly the same.
  92. On two separate occasions I have violently pushed my female lovers away from me.
  93. I used to think that men were made of iron, that I could say all sorts of mean things to them and they wouldn’t feel it.
  94. The only time I’ve ever hit a man was during a scene.
  95. I love to wrestle and win.
  96. I love to wrestle and lose.
  97. I love to dominate my lovers.
  98. With Ace, I discovered exactly how sexy it is to hurt someone.
  99. It’s only sexy if they’re into it too.
  100. I like to say I love power exchange more than sadomasochism, but sometimes I wonder if that’s true.

Entry filed under: anal sex, arousal template, being a bad bisexual, being a good bisexual, being a good lesbian, bisexuality, Bran, childhood awakenings, dildoes, fellatio, female ejaculation, feminism, fucking, fucking a man up the ass, genderfuck, glbt rights, group sex, i am a femme top, identity politics, intimacy, kink, lesbianism, lists, living with integrity, love, masochism, memoir, monogamy, oral sex, orgies, pain, pleasure, polyamory, power exchange, sadism, sex positive, sex toys, sluts have more fun, spanking, strap-ons, submission and why that's hot, switching, the importance of comprehensive sex education, threesomes, wrestling. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Just lay there Good girl/bad girl

9 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Susie Bright  |  September 17, 2008 at 9:21 pm

    I am so flattered to be part of a detail on this list!! What college?

  • 2. Wendy Blackheart  |  September 18, 2008 at 4:32 am

    Damn woman, you’re mother sounds pretty cool. ❤

  • 3. omnivoresdilemma  |  September 18, 2008 at 3:52 pm

    Susie, Vassar College! I’m sure you don’t remember, since it was like 13 years ago, but I was in the front row and felt all squee since you shared intimate eye contact with me while you were talking about… eye contact and body language, I think.

    Your books had a tremendous impact on my own attitudes toward sex. And even though I didn’t come to terms with my own bisexuality until a bit later, your story about the Big Dyke who cut you down in Women’s Studies and then ended up all het-married-with-kids was pretty awesome, too.

    Wendy, my mother is IS pretty cool. I’m blessed to have a family that’s, for the most part, open and supporting of my sexuality. Well, the bisexual part of it anyway. Kink is probably a little beyond them.

  • 4. V  |  September 19, 2008 at 3:25 pm

    Wow. I wish I had a sexual resume like this.

  • 5. omnivoresdilemma  |  September 23, 2008 at 5:42 pm

    Eh, V. It’s quality, not quantity.

  • 6. V  |  September 24, 2008 at 3:59 am

    I have never consistently enjoyed anal sex as much as I have with Bran.

    I’ve often wondered how he got the nick-name “Bran.” Maybe he’s like a bran-muffin that clears you to have anal sex. 😉

  • 7. omnivoresdilemma  |  September 25, 2008 at 3:16 pm

    V, Bran is a traditional Welsh name. I chose it because Bran is of Irish and Welsh descent. Nothing to do with fiber.

    One of the things I like about our sex life is that neither of us is fixated on any one thing. We both like variety, and the most important thing is to have fun and enjoy each other. So anal sex is just one of many things we do. I’d never give him a nickname that had anything to do with my lower intestine. Besides, ideally, anal sex doesn’t involve poop or anything but the very, very end of the digestive tract.

    THAT is one kink I will never be able to understand. Ew.

  • 8. V  |  October 4, 2008 at 5:26 am

    Dude, I was kidding; I’m sure you know that. I was just thinking of something you said a while back about how porn videos don’t show how female ejaculation can ruin your bedspread or the enimas administered to people before scheduled anal sex scenes to avoid stinky consequences.

    Funny thing though, I did once see a behind the scenes documentary where Chloe was getting an enima before a scene. They were talking about how it could cause cramping if administered too fast and other things I can’t remember.

  • 9. omnivoresdilemma  |  October 4, 2008 at 11:48 am

    V, I thought you were a bit tongue in cheek but thought I’d clarify.

    There’s a really funny video about anal sex on the Midwest Teen Sex Show:
    http://midwestteensexshow.com/2007/12/11/mtss-episode-11-backdoor-business/

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