Auntie Omnivore

August 20, 2008 at 7:02 pm 2 comments

I’m visiting family in California this week. My niece, whose name is definitely not Tracey, is a complete bundle of love and sweetness. She is also very strong-willed and, just possibly, a little spoiled.

My sister and I had a pretty tough time growing up. Our father’s head exploded right around the time I was four years old and he traded in my mother for a younger model. Mom moved us out to the East Coast, I guess because the weather in Northern California was just too gorgeous. The sum total of Dad’s child support was a single check. That bounced. So we grew up wearing hand-me-downs and playing with toys other children had thrown away. I used to long for new Barbies and a canopy bed. But overall, I was pretty happy, in spite of the fact that I didn’t have the Osh Kosh overalls and the newest, shiniest toys.

My sister moved back out here for college, pursued a high-powered career as a corporate lawyer, and married a software mogul. And she’s giving my niece everything we didn’t have growing up. has every possible advantage you can give a small child. Piano lessons. Ballet lessons. Swimming lessons. Private school. Dollhouses. Dolls. Princess dresses. Fairy wings. Enough toys to entertain a small army of children.

I really love spending time with my niece. I’d never really understood what all the fuss was about with babies, but when I first held Tracey in my arms, I really could see the family resemblance. And right from the beginning, I felt the bond between us. I turned to my sister and said, “I want one.”

“Are you sure?” she replied. And her eyes were the eyes of a new parent, sleep-deprived and worn.

I wonder sometimes if I really would love having a child day-in and day-out. Auntie Omnivore is cool and fun to play with. But Mommy Omnivore might be a little crankier.

Of course, Tracey managed to find the one thing in my suitcase that I’d rather she didn’t. I’d packed my most discreet vibrator, the Water Dancer with the little bunny attachment that flicks back and forth across my clit and makes me scream. “What’s this?” she said.

“Oh, that’s for massaging my temples,” I said, taking it from her.

“Can you show me?” she asked. I pulled off the bunny and turned it on for her. She held the little buzzing thing against her hand, and I slipped the bunny-top, which would be much harder to explain, into a pocket of my suitcase.

“See, that’s for my sore muscles,” I said. “Sometimes my jaw gets really tight, and that feels good.” I held it against my temple to show her.

“Can I play with the bunny?” she asked.

“No, it went back East,” I said.

Auntie Omnivore really hasn’t felt much of a use for her vibrator since she came to say with her niece Tracey.

Entry filed under: being a good bisexual, childhood awakenings, children, love.

Second date IM makes the heart grow fonder

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. nex0s  |  August 29, 2008 at 10:56 am

    Ha ha ha! Of *course* she found it!


  • 2. omnivoresdilemma  |  August 29, 2008 at 4:40 pm

    Ah, children.

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