Three things: servants, travel, transformation

June 9, 2008 at 1:51 pm 3 comments

So there were a few things I’ve been meaning to write about. I’ve just been a bit despondent lately, since no one has given me any feedback recently. I LURVE it when people comment in response to posts. Perhaps people aren’t responding because I moderate posts, or perhaps they’re just too shy. Regardless, feedback — connection — is one of the things that keeps me writing.

Maybe I just need to get over that.

Three things happened recently, and I don’t know which to tell you about first. I also want to tell you in the most scintillating prose EVAR, prose that will bring tears to your eyes or blood flow to your lower regions. But, of course, when I think about the results of what I say instead of just saying it, I get stuck with brain crack.

So, in chronological order:

  1. Met my newest houseboy Tuesday last. I started a post about this, but it veered off in its own direction. In short, he has the makings of a great servant and pain slut. He’s not in the least attractive to me, which simplifies things a great deal.
  2. Went to NYC this weekend and met Axe in person. In many ways, he was what I expected, and in many ways he was totally different. I love NYC, to visit about once or twice a year. Get my fix of beaux-arts architecture, true diversity, the streets of the Village, and the neighborhoods of Brooklyn. Then I came home to my own city, which looks so much more tiny and deserted by comparison.
  3. I am falling in love with Bran. “Your readers are going to be so bored!” he said, as he put his clothes on last night (what happened before he put his clothes on deserves its very own post). “What, all five of them?” I replied. I don’t care. Love does that. It makes you not care. It’s terrifying. And I’m past caring. Love is more terrifying than anything I know. But as you ease into it, it takes away the terror. I still remember all the pain of falling out of love — it makes me tremble to think about it. But when the heart falls it falls. Love is worse than the harshest Dom. It rips you apart and puts you back together all different. And it makes you want to be ripped apart. It turns that agony into pleasure. It makes you want the agony, crave it. It rips you open, turns you around, transforms you completely. It’s been long enough since the last time I fell in love, long enough for my heart to mend and forget that awful sundering, at least forget the actual sensation of that pain. I’ll be turned inside out. I’ll surrender, again and again, to whatever the Universe, and love, will do to me.

Entry filed under: being a good bisexual, Bran, courtship, houseboys, intimacy, kink, love, monogamy, pleasure, spirituality, submission and why that's hot, who's in charge here. Tags: , , , , , , , .

Bind the beast and watch him snarl Dirty, sweaty sex

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. allforher  |  June 9, 2008 at 10:00 pm

    I can’t wait to hear what happened before he put his clothes back on!

  • 2. axe  |  June 10, 2008 at 2:27 am

    It was sooo lovely meeting you. I hated that the night ended early.

    Hope we have more time to talk when you’re in town next. Or when I come up there!

    Hmm ok now I’m wondering how I was different or how I was what you expected.

  • 3. omnivoresdilemma  |  June 10, 2008 at 2:34 pm

    ::Lurves you both for commenting::

    I’ll try to find some time today to describe the hot, sweaty, dirty sex we had after he picked me up from South Station.

    Axe, it’s nice to hear you enjoyed meeting me. I sort of got the impression you were anxious to get out of there, so it’s nice to know that was all in my head. I’d love to meet up again, either there or here. I think it’s your turn to travel, though!

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