When in doubt, lists are good (restoring my freaky cred)

April 22, 2008 at 4:34 pm 7 comments

Bran says he’s boring my readers, because no one has commented on the last two posts. “I think they’re only interested when you’re branding me or something.”

Which I haven’t actually done, of course. Although I do have to admit that the idea is appealing, in an entirely fantasy-never-gonna-happen-story-of-O kind of way.

But just in case my last few posts have been too mushy and tame, I present to you the following pieces of evidence that I am still a huge freak.

  1. I came on Bran’s face. I can’t entirely tell if he likes it, since there is usually some choking and coughing involved. I actually did this on our first date, and he told me via IM that he felt like we was drowning. The implication, however, was that it was not an unenjoyable experience.
  2. Ace will be gratified (he would be more so, perhaps, if he were still in receipt of my attentions) that I’ve come to appreciate the joys of fucking a man up the ass with a strap-on. It’s true. I really do get into this place where I’m going buck-wild, and excited, and energized, and very very in-the-moment. I love not only the power of it but the sensual joy. Sure, it’s an act of giving. That’s why I’m picky about who gets to feel my cock up their ass. But it’s hott. With an extra T. For hottness. Because I can spell.

    All sorts of things I was sort of uncomfortable about before no longer seem to bother me with Bran. Probably because it’s completely reciprocal. And even though I do have a very strong streak of the femdom, there’s a reason why I go by the handle Omnivore. I like reciprocity. Reciprocity is hott, with two T’s. Another thing that happened on our first date is that he licked my little anus all around with that wicked tongue of his and made it feel AWESOME. He’s also mastered the art of fucking my various orifices with his tongue: mouth (which can be sort of creepy and yet turning-on-y at the same time), cunt (heaven), ass (gunh).

    I’ve learned a technique for assuaging my concerns about e-coli infection as relates to anal play. You sort of check out the region with your fingers and nose and eyes first. If it’s all clear, then you can use your tongue. If not, there’s always gloves, which I absolutely love for anal play because cleanup is a breeze (just pull off, and all incidental poop is contained nicely in an inverted latex package). And if you can’t deal with a little poop, as the Midwest Teen Sex Show points out so lucidly, you’re not ready for anal sex.

    Later, after all the sex and in an attempt to make our time together something other than just a booty call (he did arrive before the 9:00 pm this-is-definitely-just-a-booty-call cutoff time), we lay on the couch and watched some anime.

    “Heh,” I said. “You fucked me up the ass.”
    “I did,” he replied. “You begged me to do it.”

  3. While I was fucking Bran up the ass with the littlest dildo from the Bend Over Beginner Kit, he said something that made me come all over his leg. I wish I could remember what it was. But coming while fucking him was pretty awesome.
  4. Later, he made me come again by saying in that wonderful forceful way of his that he was fucking me while I was tied up. I know the latest magazine articles say that women don’t really make tons of noise when they come, that we’re all concentrating on the sensation of coming and that you can tell because of the tightening of our vaginal walls, but I am in fact a screamer. And I came. Noisily. Gushily. I’m glad one of the comforters was between me and the mattress because I’m out of upholstery cleaner.

    Bran is so shy about tying me up. I had to beg him to do it, and sort of helped him along. But it’s true what one of my subs from last year had to say about bondage. It does sort of intensify the feeling — of intercourse, of orgasm. An extra frisson, a tension between what you want and what you can have. And, I suppose, there’s some sort of Freudian thing about security and being held tightly. I always get excited in the middle of sex with bondage and scrabble to get the bonds off so I can touch the man (or woman) fucking me. This time, when I tried, he pushed my hand away. Which was even hotter. And when I finally did get one wrist free he just pushed me down with those wonderful strong arms of his.

  5. He gave me a lovely spanking as well. I’m glad that he responds to feedback and direction. Not all of my lovers have had the emotional security to do so.
  6. I’m still in need of a good houseboy. The one I’ve got actually canceled on me last-minute so he could go do something involving the earning of money. Really, now, where are the boy’s priorities? As we discussed over lunch last week, it’s clear that he’s not really kinky. And the important learning I’ve gotten from his service is that you can’t instill kink any more than you can iron it out. I think he’d make a great personal assistant, but it’ll only work if the payoff for him is sufficient. This is where sub men once again prove their worthiness: sexuality, especially of the unfulfilled variety, can be a powerful motivator for service. ViciousWishes asked me some questions about protocol related to the search for and screening of a good houseboy. I’ll share those in a separate post. Once I’ve got some applicants, I know what to do. But for the time being, I’m stymied as to how to find new applicants. Craigslist has been the best source so far for potentials, but someone on Craigslist has decided I’m either a spambot or a whore and flags my posts within minutes of publication. This really irks me because it is the sexual exchange I’m seeking. My posts don’t belong in erotic services, dammit! Men who clean my house really do make me hot. And I want a man who gets hot cleaning house for me. Who enjoys pain. Ah, well. In the meantime, I’ll soldier on as best I can. And perhaps consider reactivating my profiles on Collarme and Bondage.com. Yawn.
  7. Chiquitita and I are still orbiting around one another. In an email this morning, she wrote “Rarely have I met someone whose every message to me would make me want to say ‘awwwww.'” Girls require more effort than boys, but the payoff is almost always worth it.

Entry filed under: anal sex, being a bad bisexual, bisexuality, bondage, Bran, courtship, dildoes, dominance and why that's hot, femdom, fucking, fucking a man up the ass, houseboys, intimacy, kink, men who clean my house make me hot, pain, pleasure, polyamory, rough sex, sadism, sex toys, sluts have more fun, strap-ons, submission and why that's hot, switching. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Bye bye pants Backwards dialogue (and new means to orgasm)

7 Comments Add your own

  • 1. tikvah  |  April 22, 2008 at 10:07 pm

    Whew! Smokin’ hot!

  • 2. Amy  |  April 23, 2008 at 1:18 am

    Nice posting! I had the occasion to use a strap-on on a man for the first time this weekend and yes, as you say, it is very, very hott. With two Ts.

  • 3. axe  |  April 23, 2008 at 4:07 am

    Wow for all of it. Especially #1 and #2.
    There needs to be more women who enjoy #2!!
    Please keep spreading the word!

  • 4. omnivoresdilemma  |  April 23, 2008 at 2:24 pm

    Aww! Now I feel all squee and pretty. Maybe Amy and I should start a “fucking men up the ass is fun” society. I am, of course, jealous of the NYC Chapter of that femdom society where you got to serve. I went to the website and it doesn’t look like they’ve got one in Boston yet. And I’m too booked to start one myself.

    Sigh. Again with the housework.

    Coming, especially ejaculating, while upright can be challenging. I’ve actually tried “training” myself by masturbating upright so that it’s a bit easier for me. But, of course, hott sexx is the best motivator 🙂

    Axe, sorry I haven’t been commenting on your blog. I have been reading!

  • 5. V  |  April 23, 2008 at 5:57 pm

    I fucked a guy up the ass once, but I didn’t have a harness so I just had to ram it. I was sweaty and exausted afterwards; topping is hard.

    I’ve done a lot of things to prove to myself and others that I’m not a prude, but I’m still not convinced.

  • 6. omnivoresdilemma  |  April 24, 2008 at 1:21 pm

    V, you can totally join the club Amy and I are setting up.

    I’d like to think that I do things because I enjoy them and not to prove I’m not a prude–at least at this stage in my life! I just write about them to prove I’m not a prude. But I guess we all have an inner prude tsk’ing and finger-shucking.

  • 7. More « Omnivore’s Dilemma  |  May 16, 2008 at 5:13 pm

    […] end up boring you. Who wants a laundry list of places we went or positions we tried? And who wants more lists anyway? That little trick is just getting old and just seems to encourage bad, lazy […]

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