It’s so hard to get good houseboys these days

April 8, 2008 at 6:30 pm 5 comments

So my longest-lasting houseboy (and arguably one of the reasons why I’ve come to terms with my bitchy pervert self) just canceled our arrangement last week. He “broke up” with me via email. Now this is where things get tricky, because we weren’t technically going out. No, we were not going out at all. He would come over to my house, change from his cashmere sweaters and wool slacks into a white T-shirt and black shorts, and take orders from me. He was a wonderful housekeeper, very thorough, left things spotless, and worked so hard he’d sweat (“Jewish boys really know how to clean,” said one of my Jewish friends as I was regaling her with tales of my sexxay life.) Then, after the house was clean, or clean enough for my tastes, I’d beat him. I’d scold him. I’d put my feet up on him. I’d tie him up and drip wax on him. I’d spank him, use my crop, use his belt.

It was heaven. For both of us. At the beginning, of course, I couldn’t deal with the way he’d moan when I came down hard on him with the crop. I couldn’t deal with the sexual thrill I’d feel from the sound of his moan, from his reaction to the pain. At first I told myself it was because I couldn’t deal with his getting turned on by it. But later I realized I couldn’t deal with my getting turned on by it. Sometimes I still can’t deal with it. It can’t help but feel wrong to get pleasure from other people’s pain. I try to justify it by saying that it really only turns me on if it turns on my sub, and it’s true that the feedback loop of lust and desire and sexxay and pain and hurt and intensity and release is what I like about sex — all kinds of sex, although all kinds of sex don’t involve pain. But the thrill I get out of causing someone pain makes me identify with all the villains in those evil interrogation scenes. That’s an uncomfortable place to be. To understand the thrill — visceral, sexual, in-the-head-ual — of imposing one’s will on another human being, seeing how much they can take, how far before they break. That’s a very uncomfortable thing to discover in oneself. It makes me wonder what I might have been capable of, who I might have become, in different circumstances.

A few months ago, I cooked him lunch, had a frank discussion with him about my own kinksexual awakening, and finally tied him to my bed with the 24′-length rope-under-the-bed system I’d had him bring me but had only used on other playmates. That afternoon, I had what most people would define as sex with him. There was no penetration — on either of our parts — but there was orgasm. There were genitals out there in the open air. And beatings. Lots of beatings. At one point, I was whaling on him with the end of the rope I’d used to tie his left wrist, and he called for Mercy (safeword), and it took a strenuous effort on my part to stop. He had marks afterward. We talked afterward. There was pillow talk. I remember him going on about one of his sons and reaching over to pinch his nipple, and then he just stopped in mid-sentence and went “unh.”

“You can keep talking,” I said. “I’m listening.”
“I know I can,” he said, “but there’s the question of whether I want to.”

Things were never the same after that. I don’t know if that old saw about not sleeping with your slaves is true in a houseboy-style relationship or if there were other factors at work, like incompatible schedules. We were never much of a personality match anyway. But when he emailed me to say

i have found a Woman to take an interest in owning me and we have decided to give it a try on an exclusive basis.

As such she has told me it is time to end my service to You as she will be using all of my efforts.

I was hurt. Blindsided. This is where kink and polyamory intersect, and I can see how demanding bitches dominant women might not be good at sharing. But ultimately, it was probably more about him than either of us. I could go into why that is, but I’m not getting paid enough to psychoanalyze him.

So the bad news is that I’m down one pain-slutty submissive with mad skillz with a broom. The good news is that at this very moment I’ve got a tender young thing who’s curious about kink emptying out my shredder and sorting through the mountain of paper on my desk. He’s not as good with the cleaning, but he’s very eager to please and willing to be trained. He told me he’s attracted to professional women and likes to kneel beside me while I work. I’ve put him to work as a sort of personal secretary, which gives me a mind-buzz-power-thrill that is really just too @\/\/3$0me for words (or 1337 speak). Too bad he doesn’t like pain.

I posted on Craigslist again for another boy and got one decent bite before the Mandom Nazis flagged my ad. We’ll see how that turns out. Hopefully he’s a pain slut. Bran and I play with pain, but it’s different with him. I guess it really is true that switching changes the dynamic of a relationship. Not that I’d give up the feel of him pressing my knees to my chest and pounding my cervix for all the clean, shiny floors in China.

Entry filed under: arousal template, Bran, houseboys, jewish men, kink, men who clean my house make me hot, pain, sadism, submission and why that's hot. Tags: , , , , , , , .

Sex doesn’t kill, but sex addiction does Hope springs eternal

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. axe  |  April 9, 2008 at 4:48 am

    I just looked on CL and didn’t find an ad. You must have been swamped with applicants 🙂

  • 2. omnivoresdilemma  |  April 9, 2008 at 12:52 pm

    Like I said, flagged! 😛

  • 3. Hope springs eternal « Omnivore’s Dilemma  |  April 10, 2008 at 7:15 pm

    […] I’m sure that you are all weeping for me in the face of my desperate plight, especially you poor submissive men in search of an owner. “Really, Omnivore,” you’re probably saying. “Aren’t you just a tad greedy? After all, you’ve got that delicious Bran playing puppy with you and fucking you hello, not to mention that young new boy who likes to kneel at your feet and sort your mail.” […]

  • […] with the process. Bitch about how hard it is to find good help these day to your friends, or to the Internet. Laugh at yourself a […]

  • 5. More « Omnivore’s Dilemma  |  May 16, 2008 at 5:02 pm

    […] (I did mention the hip-deep-in-work thing, and if you’re not a new viewer you’ll know I’m currently houseboyless), taking off the last of his clothes. Bran likes to get naked quickly. I like him naked, of course, […]

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