I am not your femdom whore, or service subs and why that’s hot

February 11, 2008 at 11:43 pm 6 comments

SubmissiveProud John sums up really well the creepiest thing about my experience in the search for good houseboys and sub playmates:

..most men who claim to be ‘submissive’ aren’t. Many men professing a desire to surrender to strong women are little more than fantasists; turned on by the prospect of female-directed sex and an interlude of lost control. Let’s be fair, the stereotypical image of dominant women most men are exposed to – aggressively propagated by professional dominatrixes – is of leather clad, kink-oriented, female fantasy-fulfillment offered on an hourly basis and on male terms.

[…]
The true – and rare – submissive male is fulfilled by the prospect of pleasing his dominant partner on her terms; not his
(From Are [submissive] men worth the trouble?)

I hesitate whenever anyone prefixes the word “true” to a category, especially a category describing someone’s sexual predelictions. After all, I’ve been accused of not being a “true” lesbian. Which, depending on your definition of a lesbian, I’m not. After all, I’ve slept with men and enjoyed it. I even plan on doing it again (sooner rather than later, I hope, and look significantly in Ace’s direction.) I’ve also never been to Greece. No doubt, I’m also not a “true” comic book fan, since I’ve never actually masturbated while reading my comix. Um… most of them anyway.

But yes, I agree with John’s emphasis on the service aspect of submissiveness. Because there’s a difference between Domination/submission and topping/bottoming. The first is really about power exchange. The second is really about who’s doing more of the work. And this is where doing it for free really turns out to be teh r0xx0r. Because sluts don’t have to provide a service the way prodoms (of all genders) do. We just get to have fun. And dominant sluts get to choose their playmates. Me, I put an emphasis on the service aspects of submission right from the get-go. You want me to strap it on and fuck you up the ass? Fine. What are you going to do for me first? You may have awesome oral skillz, but I’ve also got a vibrator. How quickly can you wash my dishes? How well can you rub my feet, and how much are you going to enjoy it yourself?

I realize that this line of thought can quickly get me into dangerous territory, so let me backpedal a bit. Let me tell you a bit about the Omnivore (meaning, um, me, and I will now cease referring to myself in the third person, because that’s only slightly less creepy than strange men emailing me to request that I fuck them up the ass). I had a less than happy childhood. There was some violence. There was some neglect. My parents loved me both very much, but circumstances were less than ideal. Mistakes were made. Continents were crossed. Child support checks were bounced and discontinued. Dishes did not get washed.

My mother was sort of the anti-Martha Stewart. She collected newspapers until they were hip-high. She had temper tantrums. My way of dealing with her chaotic and unpredictable temperament was to try to keep the house clean. I have vivid memories of walking to the sink to do the dishes whenever a certain tone crept into her voice. Keeping things clean never kept her from making me cry, but it was the only thing I had even a distant sense of control over.

As a result, I like to keep a clean home. Luckily, I don’t have a couple of rug rats to feed and clothe. But between my power-suit job, my very active and non-sexxay social life, and my constant search for new victims occasional dates, I sometimes can’t keep it as clean as I’d like. I used to pay someone to come clean for me, and I used to take my laundry out. But in an effort to get myself out of debt sometime before I turn 70, I’ve had to cut those costs.

Submissive men, you should thank my creditors. Because my housecleaner’s loss is your gain. My early adventures in kink are directly related to making a man clean up for me. I love the genderfuck inherent in making a man do “women’s work,” and yes, I know Bitchy will not agree with me about this, but that’s okay because we have different arousal templates. My arousal template has always had to do with genderfuck. It’s why I have a thing for butch women. And until such time as hot, butch men regularly star in advertisements for Pine-Sol, Bitchy can have all the super-manly, well-muscled construction workers and she can send me all the men who are still manly enough to grow beards and have at least semi-well-defined triceps (when propping themselves up from missionary) but can also cook and clean and talk about their feelings and in general be more of a chick than I am. Everyone wins this way.

Not all my playmates have to clean, of course. Ace is adamantly undomesticated. But he has other talents that make up for this appalling shortcoming.

I used to have a sissy maid and a houseboy. The sissy maid, alas, has moved on to greener pastures. And my houseboy’s business has been preventing him from tending to my needs adequately (hee. I love the fact that a man who drives an Audi begs to come and clean my house). So I’ve got an opening in my household for a second boy. Advertising and screening for the right boy, alas, is time-consuming and annoying. Which brings us full circle to John’s description of the prevalence of distinctly not-true submissives.

What’s a poor girl to do? I work, and I slave, and I’ve got the longest-lasting cold in the history of people having colds, and I come home to a messy, messy house. And still my closet has wire hangers.

Entry filed under: arousal template, being a bad bisexual, being a good lesbian, bisexuality, femdom, houseboys, kink, lesbianism, memoir, sluts have more fun. Tags: , , .

Sum total of my kink experiences to date, or why you should never hire me as a prodom Love: I do not think it means what you think it means

6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. n.  |  February 12, 2008 at 12:06 am

    I love this entry! I think it’s incredibly hot when men cook and clean. My partner does all the cleaning and I really do think it’s hot. Mostly I’m sad he doesn’t get off on it :/

  • 2. omnivoresdilemma  |  February 12, 2008 at 12:44 am

    You are a lucky, lucky bitch 🙂

    I’m glad to know I’m not the only woman with a men-doing-housework fetish.

    The one thing I didn’t say in the entry is that one of the reasons I find it appealing is because it makes me feel cared for and nurtured on a very basic level.

  • 3. q  |  February 12, 2008 at 4:06 am

    My partner always gets a little frisky when I cook … I just consider it a normal part of an Italian heritage. I think any guy who *can’t* cook a meal and keep his nest clean is an overgrown man-child …

  • 4. V  |  February 12, 2008 at 5:37 pm

    Wow, I wish my fucked up childhood compelled me to keep everything clean. Some would say there is nothing worse than an unclean girl. Why guys are forgiven for being oafish slobs more than women are, i don’t know. Maybe it has something to do with all those oafish sitcom husbands on TV. I hate that.

    I shaved my head last month because my living situation didn’t provide me the opportunity to maintain my long hair. Now I look sort of soft butch. I think I look cute, but I wear a hat most of the time because:

    1. It’s cold

    2. There are a lot of gender-rigid people around who might freak out

    3. I don’t want people rubbing my fuzzy head.

    I mentioned to my mother quite a while back that I was thinking of shaving my head and she told me she would never speak to me again if I shaved my head, so of course I didn’t tell her. I also haven’t told her about my tattoo because if shaving my head would cause her not to speak to me a having a tattoo might result in my getting murdered. *sighs*

  • 5. Shy « Omnivore’s Dilemma  |  May 28, 2008 at 1:03 pm

    […] whore.” Given that my opinion of men with enormous cocks as a class is pretty low, and that I’m adamantly NOT a prodom (apologies to my sisters who make a living at that so-time-honored profession — I was making […]

  • 6. omnivore  |  August 22, 2012 at 2:42 pm

    Feet lovers, I could certainly talk with you about web design and whatnot, but I’m not sure how it’s relevant to this post. Or that you’re even a person and not a spambot.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed


The search for truth, love, beauty, and mind-blowing orgasms

This blog contains sexually explicit material. If you are under 18 or offended by sex-talk, smut, kinksters, liberals, bisexuals, queers, poets, switches, bitches, or outspoken women, it's a free Internet (mostly) and you can go someplace else.

Sign up for email notification of new posts (you don't have to have a WordPress account).

Join 5 other followers


Click here to explore Good Releasing's various lines of adult titles and educational films representing independent artists who create authentic and diverse content.

Feeds


%d bloggers like this: