In love with

January 30, 2008 at 12:54 pm 3 comments

Kristen’s eyes would crinkle when she smiled. She tied me to the bed with plastic zip ties from her job; it was the only way I could lay still for her caresses. She wanted to swallow me whole. I never had enough to give.

Badger looked out the window one morning and said “Hello, world, give us your gifts.” I watched him play piano through the sliding door of his apartment. When he entered me, I’d come almost immediately, again and again. I came in his nose one time; I think he was afraid of my pussy.

Angie called me by my name in Spanish. She eyed every bruise, every phone call with suspicion. But she could barely stand to let me touch her.

Pura offered me a wild raspberry between her teeth, then danced away when I leaned in to kiss her. Later, she threw her things into a laundry basket and called me names, while the cops stood there, unwilling spectators.

When I told him to go fuck himself, Miss Thing drove to my house and rang the buzzer until I let him in. He put honey on my tongue and told me he loved me. Sex with him was a marvelous carnival. He never belonged to me, and that hurt.

April sat in the back yard and smoked a cigarette while I hung my underwear on the landlord’s clothesline. Her clit was as big as a blueberry, and she ran her hands over my skin while the rain whispered outside our window.

Lewis used to laugh with pleasure when he put his wrist between my legs and shook it. Years later, I realized what a perfect boyfriend he was. At the time, I took him for granted.

I never loved Stuart but he was the first person to make me come, for real. He had a moustache. Everything turned electric in his darkened dorm room.

Jacob drove us through Manhattan in his father’s Buick. When there was nothing left to do, I kissed him in the middle of my bedroom. Later, I poured champagne in the hollow of his chest and licked it up and fucked him seven times with a Today sponge in his college dorm room. I was his first.

Carl showed up for our first date an hour and a half late. We fumbled together like toddlers with a soccer ball. When we split, I cried until I thought I would break in two.

Steven dated me to spite my brother. I don’t think I loved him, nor him me, but I loved the way the moonlight made his skin luminous as he stood there naked on the golf course. He was my bad boy; I think I dated him to spite my Mom.

Sarah walked home with me every day after school. I bought her candy and ate it with her like an offering. My love for her was as thick and pure as kheer, until I learned that homosexuality was bad.

I used to kiss Jeffie in the playground, all over his face and shoulders and ears. He never said he liked it but he never stopped me either. They teased us until we decided to pretend that we had broken up.

Katie had copper ringlets and was Mrs. Thorpe’s favorite. She invited me to her birthday party. While I was jumping rope, she told me I was doing it wrong and then laughed at me. That was my first heartbreak.

Entry filed under: being a bad bisexual, being a good lesbian, bisexuality, childhood awakenings, kink, lesbianism, love, memoir, monogamy, polyamory, sluts have more fun. Tags: , .

I love it when you call me ma’am (Pt 2 of 2) Friends and lovers

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. ace  |  February 3, 2008 at 2:10 am

    I’m pleased to have inspired you.

  • 2. Rogue  |  March 13, 2008 at 1:09 pm

    I’m really enjoying your blog. You’re sensual and articulate, and those whom have known you deserve envy.

  • 3. omnivoresdilemma  |  March 13, 2008 at 1:45 pm

    Why thank you, Rogue! I thoroughly enjoyed your latest posting as well and I’ve added you to both my RSS feed and the blogroll on this site.

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